Other QUEERED Millennial

4 Things We Must Stop Doing In 2019

As the clocks count down and we transition into the New Year, we usually spend our lasting moments recapping the highs and lows of this year.

By now, I’m sure you’ve sent out a multiple of “This Is My Year” tweets, and whoever doesn’t believe it is clearly a hater, I get it. We always joke around about certain trends, styles, and behaviors that need to be sealed away and never brought back again into the New Year.

new year.jpg On a more serious note, you may also have a step-by-step action plan that will help you incorporate some serious changes into your lifestyle in order to have a kick-ass 2019. Whatever your plan is, be aware of these 4 things I consistently observed in 2018 that we must not bring into the New Year. I’m seriously fed up!

Waking Up Hating Mondays

You ever see those people who wake up on a Monday morning just to tweet about how horrible their Mondays are? Dude! You’ve been awake for 30 seconds and didn’t even brush your teeth yet – What did Monday ever do to you?

Later that morning that person then sends out another tweet from their office desk about how much their job sucks. The picture becomes so much clearer, you don’t actually hate Mondays, I think you hate your job.

Think twice about going to a job that you constantly complain about every day, especially on a Monday, and start taking the necessary steps toward obtaining an occupation that supplies more than just a nice looking paycheck. What often gets in the way of prioritizing our happiness is our ego. Sometimes our ego won’t allow us to humbly accept a lower paying job that we love over a well-paying job that we despise. Nonetheless, we spend the majority of our lives working, might as well make it something that changes your perceptions of Mondays, because those ” I hate Monday” tweets aren’t doing anything for you, leave it is 2018!

Blaming People For Your Actions

Blaming everyone and everything for our problems is so natural.  I hate men, all they do is lie and play games, it’s the reason I can never be in a relationship. I came from a difficult upbringing, my life is so hard because of the choices my parents made, thus I cannot be happy. My boss and I argue every day, he’s the reason I can’t get a pay raise.

The reason we play the blame game is that we rather not accept responsibility for our actions. Telling someone they’re at fault and they should fix the problem is an amazing feeling. I mean, I’m not at fault, so why should I have to make the effort when I can just make someone else face the consequences. The truth is, blaming others for your actions automatically takes away your own power. You’re actually telling whoever or whatever to fix the problem because you’re so flawless and you never make mistakes. See how silly that sounds? You are responsible for your life and your life only. The only thing you can blame is YOURSELF. Sure – global warming and your parent’s not accepting your sexuality isn’t your fault, but how you handle the situation is totally up to you. Take back your power!

Slut Shaming

Slut shaming has pondered the Earth for years. The LGBTQ community have been perceived as over-sexualized beasts who have no self-control over their d*cks since Adam and Steve. In some religious spaces, were seen as an abomination and are shunned to the ends of the earth. Our sexual behaviors have also been blamed for the cause of AIDS, which was mother nature’s way of initiating natural selection to punish us.

During the Stonewall era, sex was a method used to liberate ourselves. Sex was our way of expressing our rights citizens. As society grew comfortable with sexual expression, slut-shaming becomes more notable.

I see it everywhere! In porn, the music industry,  social media, even some friends will side-eye you after you’ve expressed you just got banged out in an alleyway. For some reason, we just can’t accept anyone who is comfortable with being sexually positive.

This year alone, sex workers, Onlyfans entertainers, and porn stars have been the most victimized to slut shaming, at least from what I’ve witnessed. Anything sex-related outside of monogamy is labeled as whore-ish behavior, because of that, it is difficult for sex-related occupants to do their job ( Yes I said job) peacefully without receiving a backlash of promiscuity.

The way I see it, people should be able to live their best life. Who are we to determine what’s shameful and acceptable? You can’t tell someone to live their best life, but then call them a whore when the moment is convenient for you.  Do what makes you happy. The line is drawn only when your happiness interferes with causing harm to others. Other than that, BE THAT HOE! No Shaming on this side.

Making Everything A Comparison

Can’t we all be great in our own lane? Why does everything have to be a comparison? Whether it’s fetishizing over your favorite Instagram model’s body or comparing yourself to the successes of your friends and coworkers – we always seem to make comparisons to matters outside of our own lane.

From my experience, I’ve discovered that when I compare myself to others, depression, self-hate, lack of productivity, and insecurities sure followed after.

Think about it. If all you’re ever doing is focusing on the tangibles that live within others, when are you going to allow yourself to be great? You’re so invested on why your arms aren’t as big that guy from the gym, that you don’t even invest that same energy into yourself.

I forgot what wise man told me this, but it went something along the lines of ” You can’t compare your level 2 to someone else’s level 20 “. It cliche in a sense, but we all have to start from ground zero in whatever we hope to achieve.

The next time you place yourself in comparison with others, channel that energy into praising yourself. Your level 2 is just as important as any level that awaits ahead.

What are some things that you’d like to see a change in 2019?





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