Social media has completely changed the culture of dating. From the prehistoric chat-lines to BGC live, now Jack’d, Grindr, and Tindr, the accessibility of meeting other queer folks has gone through the roof. Because of how advanced dating applications have become, you could literally have someone waiting at your doorstep at the snap of your fingers– or in this case, at the sound of a ping. However, there is a trade-off. Having the power to instantly reach hundreds of gay men by the hour leaves us the opportunity to come in to contact with some slightly……… interesting people.
QUEERTY, a prestigious online magazine platform that covers gay-related news and lifestyle stories released an article 10 annoying Grindr types that make us go “Huh?” and “WTF!”, objectifying the 10 most commonly encountered Grindr personalities and narrating how they are so cringe-worthy.
Types mentioned on Queerty’s list:
The Secret Escort
The professional masseuse who lurks around using a hot pic and profile in search for “generous users”. He’s never looking for sex unless the price is right.
The guy who sends a whole anatomic photo album of himself. I’m talking at least 10 or more photos. Soon after that, he’s demanding you come over. If you don’t respond within 30 seconds, block!
The Mixed Messenger
Nothing screams “I’m only here to find a relationship” louder than a faceless body that’s dressed in an Andrew Christian jockstrap describing how he’s infatuated with being drilled on weekends. Didn’t this person just say a few messages back that he’s “only looking to casually date?”
Do you want a good mindf*ck? These guys are your best shot.
There were some archetypes in the article that didn’t make this list, but that’s why I’m here, to make their faceless presence be known– at least from my experience.
A similar narrative to the Aggressor, he sends you loads of pics, and you need to be able to reply to his messages with blinking speed or else you’re getting blocked– no questions asked.
However, this guy takes it one step further. He will block you, then 3 or 4 days later he’s somehow messaging you from a new account with the same introduction and the same “thirst trappy” photos. The worst part about this person is that he will message you without noticing that he blocked you from before. Right before you get the opportunity to mention that you’ve both spoken in the past *bloop *, blocked! The circle never ends.
He usually sounds like a bad tv commercial. “Are you tired of living check to check, I have a way for you to earn some good money, all I need is your debit card info and you’ll be set for life”. In this era, credit card fraud continues to be a problematic issue, and because of Grindr being such a confidentially sound space for queer individuals to indulge each other, it leaves open opportunities for scamming and theft to suck you dry. Telling a young gay and broke college student that they can have a lumpsum deposit into their bank account is surely tempting. It’s the same way pedophiles use candy as an incentive to abduct children. I mean hey, in my younger queer years I fell victim to credit card theft as well– the money sounded amazing at the time that I just had to give up my information. Little did I know, a few days later I received a lovely call from my bank. Moral of the story, if it sounds too good to be true– it usually is. Lesson learned.
I embrace and appreciate all the native speakers I come across during my Grindr adventures, but the truth is, language can be a barrier when building interpersonal relationships. Try building a foundation with someone who doesn’t speak the same language as you. Heck, try having a simple conversation. Even with Google translator, the exchange in dialogue with someone who doesn’t speak your language can be draining. In Spanish particularly ( since I haven’t really come across any other foreign languages on Grindr), having to use Google Translator for every single response is a lot of work, don’t you agree? I understand that the U.S. is the most culturally diverse country in the world, and Spanish is the second most spoken language in the world. Learning a second language will benefit me in multiple ways, however, I have no interest, nor the time to learn a whole different language just to engage in a 30-second conversation on a dating application. I can manage without it.
How did this person make the list?
After already translating to the guy that I don’t speak Spanish, 9 times out of 10 he ignores everything I just said and continues to pursue me( In Spanish) knowing that I just stated that I don’t speak his language.
I often get confused for being Dominican as does every darker toned person. Maybe that has something to do with it? ARRGGGHHHHH!!!
I was 20 years old when I first found out about dating apps. Although Grindr’s disclaimer clearly states that user must be at least 18 years of age or older to use their service, I still felt too young to use the app.
Currently, the apps are flooded with young adolescents faking to be older than what they are. Baby boomers and Generation X cohorts are always saying that millennials are “living life in the fast line”, but at the newer generation’s maturing rate, they will be light years ahead of the millennials by the time they reach college. When I was a young adolescent, I was playing basketball and staying up past 3am playing Call Of Duty, but now I guess the new video game is Grindr.
I’m not ageist, everyone deserves to explore their sexual fluidity ( with boundaries), but from a parent’s perspective I cannot wrap my head around the thought of my 15-year-old son being bent over by a 35-year-old man– and sadly, it’s secretly happening. Which is against the law, just saying.
The Macho man
Do I need to go into detail? This Grindr type is well known by everyone and their grandmother. This guy will assert the paradigm of his hyper-masculinity onto your screen, flaunting his 8 pack and well-endowed eggplant in hopes of having you succumb to his self-proclaimed dominance. He doesn’t like is ass touched, and anything other than bear-like groaning is “way too feminine” for his liking. Don’t attempt any small-talk like “How was your day?” or “What do you do for a living?” because it most likely has nothing to do with why he’s online in the first place, and you’ll end up being called an emotional sissy for it. In conclusion, the only thing that’s coming your way is the block button. Talk about toxic masculinity.
Just like Queerty would say …….. “Men!”